Just a few hours ago, I was stoning online and looking for recipes for tonight's dinner. It's my cooking day today, and I had this sudden craving for baked rice. The first recipe that I found looked so good! I knew I had to try it, and started scribbling down the ingredients needed. Then I went to the kitchen to check out what ingredients we already have at home, and returned to my room only to realize that it's already 5.30pm - so late! The baked rice needed at least 1.5 hours! I threw on my coat hurriedly, searched for my house keys, hooked on my earphones, and left the house in a flurry.
Down that 4 floors worth of stairs and out into the cold, I started heading towards Sainsbury's, which was just a couple of minutes away. I felt so cold inside, so I wore my good old hood and hid half of my head and face from the bustling world outside. "Stand by me" burst into my eardrums, and as I stole a glance at the huge traffic jam along Cromwell Road, I couldn't help but feel my heart ache. Just then, I randomly thought of checking for my wallet, and it struck me that I forgot to bring money out! Oh my. That eerily familiar feeling of disbelief sank in. I started feeling all my pockets for my debit card. But no. Not in my coat. Not in my hoodie. Not in my trouser pockets!
I couldn't believe I had forgotten to bring my debit card out, especially when I remembered that the thought to bring money along did cross my mind, albeit too briefly. Today the voice in my head didn't automatically go 'Never mind, just quickly go back and get it; at least you didn't realize it after happily scanning in all your stuff at the self-checkout counter! So very lucky already..' Instead, I couldn't help but let this little blunder of mine make me feel worse than I already did about myself. I could only turn back home.
Yet somehow, maybe it was that song playing in my ears, or maybe it was all those car horns sounding so impatiently, that led my mind from dwelling on the past back to the present, to the here and now. My fingers toyed with the house keys in my pocket, and I felt so silly about feeling so dull over something so trivial. Things could have been so much worse if I had forgotten to bring my keys along! There wasn't anyone at home and I didn't even have my handphone with me. And it was highly probable that I only find out that I don't have any money on me at the counter. Yes, things could have been so much worse. So as I climbed that 4 floors worth of stairs all over again, this time defying gravity, I felt I gained so much more - apart from gravitational potential energy, that is!
When things don't always go the way you want them to, you can only appreciate that things haven't been much worse. There really isn't much else you can do except to "remember that the airplane flies against the wind. Not with it. (Henry Ford)" I could only turn back home then. I can only do it all over again, no matter how daunting the climb is. Because that streak of stubbornness in me has left me with no alternative, and because I know that I will not forgive myself for leaving things on this note, no matter how tempting it may seem to do so.
On the bright side, life doesn't always throw lemons at you! The chicken and mushroom baked rice turned out yummy! I added potatoes to the bottom too. All my favourite things in one dish.. Food really makes my day. And actually.. So does sleep! I'm off!
