i am trying to recall everything that has transpired within the short span of this week, and i can only summarize everything with this face -> :O from surviving the exams to embracing the post-exams, from living in a drama series to coming back to reality, from the insane and desperate packing to the furious process of storing and moving, and finally from waving so many goodbyes to echoing so many hellos, i know this has been an incredible week. i am glad that things happened the way they happened, and i am blessed to be sitting here now on my new bed, listening to the ticking of the clock and the whirring of my laptop; i am just resting, thinking and pondering about life and perhaps a little beyond it.
these days i have been thrown between the past and the present - back and forth - so many times. it almost seems like i've been flung to and fro between these two dimensions in every single aspect of my life. perceptions, memories, beliefs - these things which i held firm and close to my heart resurfaced over and over again in my mind, like the rising and falling of the tides.
yesterday i went down to edgware road to collect the deposit for my house rent. this is the place where i have stayed the whole of last year. for a person like me, knowing the exact ways around a place takes time and requires alot of conscious effort on my part. perhaps by the dictation of circumstances, i have familiarised myself with this area - the distinct edgwarian smell, the busy streets, the dangers lurking around, and all the memories i have shared with it. it was no wonder that i felt this sense of comfort the moment i left the tube station and stood right there, at a place which contained so many of my footprints.
it started raining when sun yan zi's yu tian started playing on my ipod. coincidence or not, it's an interesting thought. but it was raining on a hot summer day. i didn't have my umbrella with me, so i just roamed around on the street, and ended up watching people in the rain. there were people who instinctively ran to seek shelter, and i was also pleasantly surprised to find people who were smiling, laughing and welcoming the rain with their arms wide open. like peasants dancing in the rain after a long-drawn drought, it was delight at its rawest form.
sometimes, you go back to a page in a book which you've left untouched for ages, and you discover something new. certain things may have been lost during that hiatus. you may have forgotten where that story had led your wildest imagination to, and you may have forgotten which page you had stopped at. but more often than not, reading it again feels different - not because the story has changed, but because you have changed. i think it's time to finish reading what i have left off in a moment's complacence, obstinacy and ignorance, and i hope this story's ending will be able to give me some real answers, some rain in this sweltering summer.
i have so many disjointed, fragmented and incoherent thoughts. my synapses don't seem to be working that well. while watching takuya kimura's mr. brain (which is a SUPER NICE AND COOL DRAMA! TAKUYA IS SUPER SHUAI), i feel so inspired by all his talk about how amazing the human brain is, and i wish my brain understood itself better too.
